Currently, I’m not the most pleasant of people.
The last time I wrote to you I detailed where I’m at, and it’s safe to say that I’m still howling. But I’ve started asking for help, started looking at resources to help me tackle whatever it is that I’m feeling. And I’m optimistic.
Until then, I wanted to document some moments from the past few weeks or so that have brought me joy. I want to preserve the light, so when things get dark I have this glimmering collection of happiness to ground me.
Marina and I went to Circle The Wagons. There was a man juggling swords, women on stilts and so much amazing music. There were fairy-lights twinkling in the trees, hammocks set up into a little chill village and dogs roaming around. Children were dancing in the grass. It felt like a story-book come to life.
So much amazing music at Big Rock’s Barn Burner. Scenic Route to Alaska put on such a well-paced, perfectly timed set, and I found myself lost in the songs. The Sheepdogs were INSANE. Such an energetic, flawlessly executed performance. I walked away feeling jittery and alive. Also- five dollar beer. Just a win all around.
I’m really bad at smiling in photos- but I’ve been so happy that fall is back in full swing and I’ve been digging my look so much that I had to share. Asia gave me this jacket and I wear it always. The hat is just so good. And scarf weather is the best weather honestly.
I rearranged my room and it’s just become such a little sanctuary. I just feel so at peace here, and I think it’s been crucial for me to have this space- this escape from the buzzing. Just soft light and good vibes.
Speaking of safe spaces- I love my little home. I love that Asia and I understand the ebb and flow of one another’s moods. How there’s patience and understanding- and so much laughter. I’ve never lived anywhere besides my childhood home that I’ve felt was my own. But this little basement is such a large piece of me. It’s the backdrop to every deep conversation, personal revelation, or meme induced hysteria. Juni, Asia and this space. There is nothing more comforting than the knowledge that whatever the world throws at me I can come ~home~ and Asia and I can just quote The Room back and forth until everything feels okay again. “Don’t plan too much. It might not come out riiiiiight”
“YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISA”
until next time,