There’s really nothing funny about depression… but if there was, this would be it.
I’ve experienced depression for more years than I can remember now, and although it used to hurt my head every second of everyday I am happy to report it only stings sometimes now. But the past couple days, or weeks or something I’ve felt that way.
But it’s kind of funny, because it’s not really dangerous this time around… which is a change of pace that I’m thankful for. If anything, it’s just super boring. I don’t wanna do anything, I don’t wanna straighten out my spine unless I’m horizontal, I don’t want to feel my hair against my face, I don’t want to un-shrug my shoulders. I spend far too much time staring into space– the coffee girl had to tap me on the shoulder to hand me my shit today. But I’ve realized this mediocre depression can be kind of funny sometimes, and so I’m writing this post– to hopefully make someone that’s going through the same thing smile.
~I’ve noticed that lately I’ve turned into a literal ‘depressed person’ stereotype– most of the time I just lay in bed watching a billion MLG videos and seeing which spongebob meme is the dankest.
~At any given time I am only in the mood for taco bell, or poutine. There’s so much good food in the house but I am only focused on pizza and popcorn and shit.
~I’ve literally played ‘Sound Of Silence’ while looking out a window in a coffee shop.
~I started downloading dat boi ringtones, and windows startup ringtones.
~I’m really only listening to artists whose song titles are written in lowercase.
~I looked up how to play All Star on the clarinet… I almost bought a clarinet.
~I’ve been sitting in my local coffee shop too lazy and scared to walk five steps to get a glass of water, and considered calling Rachelle to come to the coffee shop and get it for me.
~I stayed in my bed like three extra hours because there was a box of pocky at the foot of it and I didn’t wanna decide what to do with it once I got up so I just went back to bed.
~I was stressed and hungover so I spent 18$ on vitamin water.
I think it’s valuable to laugh at yourself, especially when you’re feeling depressed because it makes everything a lot more manageable. I’ve often been criticized because I don’t take things seriously until I do, then I take them way too seriously. But I’m mostly okay with my coping mechanisms and I find they’re still developing in a more and more healthy way… and like dude, seriously just cruise some memes when you’re sad it’s the best time killer and it’s a guaranteed ‘what the fuck’ moment that will most certainly bring you back to reality in a non-threatening way.
Anyways, those are the funny things I did while I was depressed. And because I did those things, I was able to get up, and clean my place. I was able to listen to some of my regular, capitalized songs. I was able to write this today.
So that’s pretty cool.