this is for you.

*photo by A.V

I think if I was on a plane that was about to crash, you’d be on my mind.

Where you been lately? Are you doing well? Is the life you’ve built for yourself one that makes your eyes light up? Does your laugh still sound the same?

So many years have come and gone since I last saw you. Your image is still vivid in my mind, a preserved memory that I turn to when the world gets a little too heavy. I close my eyes and see a smile paired with a raised brow and the days feel a little more serene.

And so I would want you to know, if my life was flashing before me and I was living my last minutes I’d want you to know all you’ve done. I’d want to show you each terrifying moment you helped me diminish, I’d want to show you the way you helped me face my demons. I’d want to show you that in the moments I was most cynical it was you I believed in.

I don’t know if this will make you feel happy or strange, if you’ll feel like I’m a little deluded to use you as an anchor or if you’ll be delighted to know that you meant so much to someone.

The times we spent together were some of the happiest of my life.

As the years continue to go by and memories get blurry around the edges I still remember everything we shared with a vividness unparalleled. I get a little ache-y with nostalgic pangs and the pain of missing a person or a place but I still smile wide.

So thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thanks for being a kindness that I desperately needed at the time, thanks for being there for me even when you didn’t know you were, thanks for being you.

I hope you’re doing beautiful things, living a life that brings light to your eyes, laughing often and I hope you’re happy.

If I was on a plane that was about to crash, you’d be on my mind.

This is for you.

until next time,

r.

 

Author: rachelle

Figuring it out as I go along, documenting and staying as honest as possible.

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